Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

It was a cold, damp night and hot beef chili was on the menu. I am not sure if it was the chill in the air or the need to overachieve and consume the most beans and beef, but any way you slice it I came out on top in the dinner party in sheer volume consumed. The chili, she was spicy. Warm and content, I opted to doze on the couch while everyone watched Westworld. About three hours later my Montezuma's Revenge Meter went on full tilt. Not sure if it was that delectable scorching beefy chili goodness or the egg and cheese burrito I had eaten earlier in the day, but it wanted out and it wanted out NOW. I crab walked to the bathroom as quick as possible...only it wasn't my house, and there was only one bathroom on the bottom floor. Chili and eggs meeting up and planning a revolt? This may have sealed my doom, because a storm was a-brewin', but thankfully my hosts keep a bottle Unicorn Gold in every bathroom. Although the Kraken was released with a mighty bellow, the unicorn was more than up to the task and slayed the mighty stench beast. Crisis averted, I meandered back to the couch knowing my secret was safe. Unless they heard me over the fart fan.