Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Oh my dear ADHD Ukulele Hawaiian Goddesses, I purchased this beauty after reading amazing reviews and thinking "surely, this many drones couldn't possibly write these epic, fake reviews over like a $90 instrument." Boy, was my pessimistic hunch right!! A) BEAUTIFUL SOUND---we all know traditional ukuleles are great, you know, after a few beers and you're strumming your big fat fingers, trying to forget the horrible life choices that led up to this point in your life: You, a divorced single mom, sipping cheap 40 ounce beers in your backyard strumming something the size of something you gave birth to. THIS baritone ukulele has a meaty sound. It's deep, it bellows, and it makes me feel less pathetic and hopeless. It sounds pretty close to a guitar. B) EASY TO PLAY-There are more frets that are a little farther apart(like my thighs used to be, before I discovered flautas at Taco Cabana) the strings are easy to press down, making it WAY less frustrating to play. I haven't replaced my strings yet, these are fine. It stays in tune pretty well, I just over tune it a tad, so it kind of evens out?----I'm a ukulele scientist. C) I CAN PLAY CREEP BY RADIOHEAD and I sound AMAZING. -----reread that sentence. It's worth $90. D) TUNER, BAG, BOWLING BALL POLISHING CLOTH AND DVD---Haven't watched the DVD, I just go on youtube and there are TONS of people out there, with great tutorials. I literally learned 5 songs in 3 days. I can't learn 5 new words in 3 decades. So, this is huge. There's some cloth/rag thing, IDK, I'm saving it for a special occasion, like a Batmizvah or if I ever get some majestic silver utensils from a dead relative? E)ORDER IT. I think it helps with my Depression/ADHD. It doesn't help with my Erectile Dysfunction. Yet. F)MY KIDS LOVE IT. They always like when their mom gets something that helps usher out her newest manic episode/midlife crisis.