Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

So I ordered this product in hopes of finally having my first orgasm. This is my own mothers favorite toy, it was a very reasonable price, and after reading the other reviews- definitely seemed worth trying. I was notified it shipped and kept refreshing my tracking, not-so-patiently waiting. Looking out the windows non stop like a crackhead waiting for his drug dealer to come around the corner...I felt like I aged 85 years waiting for the mailman, but it had only been 2 days 🤣 my phone notified me it was a house away. BOOM! PERFECT TIMING!! The mailman literally thought I was a crazy woman chasing him down like how a dog does. Sorry man, I’m on a strict time crunch. Kids are at gmas-husbands at work, and i have some serious business to handle. I ripped the box open and think i heard angels gloriously singing around me. I couldn’t wait to try out this fine piece of machinery 😏 I immediately noticed the toy felt like the real deal. Super soft and slightly flexible. It has a magnetic charger! WHAT THE WHAT!!? Seems like some alien technology-far more advanced than my modern civilization. I slightly panicked thinking I’d have to wait a lifetime for it to charge and risk the fam getting home, but to my surprise it came fully charged! ITS TIME TO PARTYYYYY!!!!! With this toy-there’s no confusion. It fit everything like it was custom made for me. I turned it on the first setting (1 of 10) and it started tickling my clit and g-spot. Setting 2 and I instantly went cross eyed and looked like the damn exorcist. I came so hard within a second. Setting 3 and I’m pretty sure I had a seizure and was sent into another dimension. My soul was no longer in my body. This thing literally snatched my soul. When I came to, my face was stuck cross eyed and fish lipped and I questioned my entire existence. I came at least 7x in a row. How is this possible??! I frantically tried shutting it off and must’ve hit another button cause it started getting hot! IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE OR IS THAT JUST ME?!?! It’s the TOY!!!! Wtf?! It felt like the real deal inside me. With the perfect curve. Angels will sing around you. You’ll go into another dimension. The rabbit part ate my kitty like it was a juicy peach. If you’re wondering if you should get this, don’t waste anymore time. This toy will never make you cry. It’ll never lie to you or break your heart. And it knows EXACTLY where your good spots are!!! P.S. wear a mouth guard cause this thing can chip teeth 🤣