Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Slept well only to find the morning a living hell. As usual, I've been separated from Brother's breakfast. That simple minded oaf takes so long to eat, I at once would take his meals. Now, I we take our meals separated. Behind a the bayhbe gahte, behinds it's bars, I take my nourishment...I plan. But today, my "caretakers", with their insipid smiles and baby talk, gave me breakfast in this horror of a food bowl. I looked at them turning "cute" up to 11 with eyes full of hurt, but their vapid looks and demeaning chatter told me that there would be no release from this new and unique torture. The bowl, my only joy in this "home", where I could wolf down my food - like the true wild animals my spirit longs to return too - gone. Replaced by this labyrinth of a dish from the Third Circle of Hell. My will is strong. I will show them, they can take my freedom, but they cannot take my gluttony. I will protest. I will not play their game. I will not eat. I will waste away to nothing. They will regret and relent. Dog's Diary: Day 32 My hunger strike continues (while my captors are watching). I feign that I am too weak to eat and lie helpless beside my "phun bowl". They carelessly step over me, snickering about my demise.