Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

my darkest and most repetitive memory is searching for the perfect pair of tights. perfectly black. perfectly soft. perfectly comfortable at the waist. something i could easily pull up and down to pee. something that touched my hips as lightly as a hug from someone who clearly does not like to hug. my travels always led me to the same thing- way too shiny, too much control top, leg squeezing, butt flattening, waist pinching, hard to breath, can't get into without ripping, overpriced death traps that roll down if you don't have them pinned to your bra or do anything but stand still. i have wasted hours of my life rummaging through my drawer of misfit tights trying to remember which pair was comfortable enough to wear only to give up entirely and change into an outfit that better suits a pair of leggings. but today...today is different. today i slid into this pair of tights and already my life has changed. every light on my way to work was green. my hair grew half an inch. somehow my lips look extra full. and i swear i saw a squirrel give me a thumbs up just as my favorite barry manilow jingle bells song came on the radio. at this rate, ill probably be ceo of something by monday. i have had a good year. now- being just a few weeks away from 2019- it has become great.