Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Cats were in Egypt. Egypt has pyramids. This thing looks like a pyramid. You follow me? Bring this baby home today and not only will you unlock the mysteries of Kah Mun Rah, but you'll keep your cats off your couch too. For years the wife and I suffered in silence as our felines disembowled any couch that crossed their path. In vain was the motley assortment of scratching posts and mystical deterrent brews I brought home. At last, I had had enough, and after a night of heavy milk-drinking and copious catnip huffing I found myself face-down in the litter-box of despair. But as my wife scooped the last of my clumped up tears from our cat's indoor outhouse, I decided to give Amazon a try. That's when I found this. Like the all-seeing eye on the back of the dollar bill, I could see that all other products were not only inferior to this, but like mere pyramid building slaves in comparison. I had to have it. And I did have it. And I do have it. And so should you. The cat immediately fell head over dew-claws in love with it. With 3 sides, she can scratch one for breakfast, one for lunch, and one for dinner. Every morning we roll a 3-sided die to see which side she'll start with. Sometimes she'll lay in the middle and close one eye. Oh yeah. We get it. It's crazy powerful. And crazy essential. Now whenever she tries to maul the couch, we just give her a little wink and she remembers...the power, the mystery, the intensity of this all-seeing scratching post. How was this thing made?! Was it UFO's? Was it some sort of alien technology? Was it demons? Perhaps we'll never know. BUT KNOW THIS: this thing works. Seriously. The cat loves it.