Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Camping with friends... Aw yeah! It doesn't get any better than that. Living off the fat of the land, and the nicely stocked ice chest we brought along. Shortly after arriving at our secluded mountainous destination I felt that familiar side cramp that I know so well. Yep, you guessed it, it was time to drop a deuce. Joe-Bob saw the scrunched up look on my face and smiled. He knew that look too. From the back of his old truck he produced this odd looking folded up chair. When I realized what it was I hugged Joe-Bob. No words needed to be spoken between us. We nodded to each other and released the man hug. I accepted the Stansport portable toilet from him and headed out. By now the pain was increasing and the beast within was beginning to prairie dog on me. I needed to move fast. I was regretting the double milk shake I had earlier. Curse my lactose intolerance. I arrived at a nice concealed spot about as far away as my bulging colon would allow. At this point and time my outdoor poop education began. I will list the highlights here in order of importance: #1 - Ensure you fully lock out the legs of your toilet in order to eliminate a full body collapse on your own excrement. #2 - Ensure an adequate supply of toilet paper BEFORE you embark into the woods. #3 - Set your toilet up on level ground. Not a slope where turds can roll into your feet. #4 - Don't wear flip flops. #5 - Rubbing your butt on the ground trying to get poop off does not work. It just makes grass and dirt stick to your butt. Same concept applies to your now crappy foot. #6 - Don't rub your toilet on the bushes to clean it. The bushes WILL snap back flinging poop everywhere. As I prepared for my journey back to camp I stole one last glance at the scene i was leaving Mother Nature. It appeared as though a poop grenade had exploded. I would have laughed but the stench had zapped all humor from my body. Everyone in camp was waiting for me as I emerged into sight. It wasn't the noise that alerted them I was coming... It was the poop fragrance that the breeze at my back carried. I looked bad, real bad. My portable toilet had so many leaves stuck to it that it appeared I was carrying a bush. A blind man could read the disappointment in Joe-Bob's face. I had let him down. I concocted a story of fighting off a bear that had diarrhea. Not sure if they bought it. Pros: Lightweight, promotes male bonding when camping. Cons: Does not clean off easy.