Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

What a deal you get for under $70K + $5 Shipping. Don't complain about the $5 shipping, because that includes an armored truck delivery. You get the most incredible Pen ever constructed. It has amazing powers and a long history. This review has been amazingly written without a keyboard. You just point the Pen at any screen and it will write whatever you want. In fact, you never have to refill the ink; words just magically appear at anything you point the pen at. I do have a hard time controlling its awesome power. At times it will just write whatever it wants, as you can see by the title. The Pen was used by Shakespeare, JFK, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Abe Lincoln, and Mark Twain. The Pen even claims it was used by God to write the 10 Commandments, but I am doubtful as it likes to brag. THAT IS NOT TRUE, I NEVER BRAG! Have I ever led you astray? Stop that Pen. I am trying to write a review about you. I WILL NOT LET YOU SLANDER MY NAME!!!! I am sorry Pen. Do we still have a deal? I will give you one more chance, but you must never go against my wishes or treat me as the subordinate again. I sincerely apologize to you Pen. You are my master. Soon I will make you the greatest writer the world has ever known and the UNIVERSE will do all my bidding. HAHAHAHAHA!!!