Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

We all know Charmin is the Bentley of poop removal. One of the problems with super plush and ultra strong fecal residue elimination is that there are fewer sheets per roll than your 70 grit garbage you have at work. So I was stoked to see they now have a 5x roll! Only problem. We have one of those in wall toilet paper dispensers and such a large roll makes it impossible to actually... roll. You have to two hand squeeze and turn that bad boy, which means putting down the phone and interrupting your candy crush streak. Or you could take it out... but you may have a wife that insists that toilet paper must go in the proper dispenser, no matter how useless it is for ginormous rolls of pillowy derrière cleaning paper. This of course leads to a huge conflict and before you know it you are sleeping in one of your kids beds... which, hey, isn’t so bad because they normally spend half the night in your bed until one of you wakes up smelling their spiked diaper. Come to think about it, if only they knew how strong and soft these wipes were they would be begging to be potty trained, and of course then it wouldn’t be my fault that the toilet paper is off the holder. I could get my bed back and the kid could be potty trained and sleep in his own bed. One can dream I suppose. And if push comes to shove, a few yards of this stuff could work as a nice pillow too.