Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I heard about this book while listening to a weight loss podcast where there was an interview with the author. What she was saying intrigued me so I looked it up. I read a lot of reviews and most seemed really good but I was a little skeptical about spending $9 on an eBook. After a few days, I decided to just do it because I've spent more than $9 on a binge, haven't I? I related so much to her story that I felt like I could have written it. But. Truth be told, I think I was in denial about the fact that I actually had an eating disorder. I always felt like there was something wrong with me but I never considered that I might actually qualify for an official E.D. Reading this book has really opened my eyes. I've never gone to therapy for my weight issues but I've read every diet book and tried every gimmick. I'd do well for a bit but then go crashing down, doubling the weight I had lost. I thought about food constantly. When I wasn't thinking about it directly, I was thinking about it in the form of shame for what I had eaten or wanted to eat and how horrible it feels in my body. I was miserable, not understanding why I had this exremely strong desire to stop eating out of control but yet remained just that--out of control. It was like Optimus Prime and Megatron were having a battle in my mind. Eat the food! Don't eat the food! You want the food! I can't believe you just ate the food! It was a constant fight all day every day. I loved to go out and eat a big meal and then stop at the store and buy snacks to go home and eat in private. Part of me would say, I am not going to buy junk food while the other part was scanning the aisles. It was nothing to down a whole box of creme pies in a matter of minutes. I would buy whole birthday cakes and packs of cupcakes and eat them by myself. I would order pizza and have Ramen noodles and a sandwich and a microwave burrito while I waited and still eat the whole pizza when it arrived. Then, of course, I needed something sweet. Every single day I ate like this. I could do okay at work but I would pull in the driveway and immediately start a mental inventory of what I had to look forward to eating when I got in the house. Consuming consumed me. When I think back, this all stems from the time I did the South Beach diet. I had lost 60 lbs in about 5 months. I was happy and I felt good. I didn't think I ever felt deprived. I remember passing candy and cake displays and not even batting an eye. But then I got laid off. I got depressed. I sought comfort. My first binge food was a pack of creme horns with a chocolate milk. I ate all of them in my car and downed the milk and then ran into my backyard to try and throw it all up. I was so disgusted and disappointed in myself. I couldn't do it though. I've tried before and forced vomiting is not a skill I could master. Hence, the 80 pound weight gain over the last several years which has led me here. I have a binge eating disorder but I don't purge so I'm just fat. Probably technically, "obese". I've read all the approaches that say it's an emotional thing. That if you're wanting to eat when you're not hungry, it's because of a feeling. You need to figure out what you're feeling and address it instead of eating. But that didn't work for me. I didn't feel lIke I was burying any childhood hurts or escaping any unpleasantries. I never could find that emotion or feeling and I still wanted to eat and I did. I know a lot of people say they were disappointed by this book and didn't think it was much more than the mesage "just don't do it". It seems too simple. But it's really true. I'm sure we've all tried that appraoch. And as she states, everything won't work for everyone. However, it has worked for me. Since reading this book, I have not binged once in the last 7 days. I've hardly had any urges. I wake up and I'm excited to recall all that I did NOT eat the night before. Prior to this week, mornings were filled with regret and dread as I remembered what I had done. How much I had eaten. All the calories and junk. The climbing number on the scale. I don't know how to explain exactly how but this book just made it click for me. "I" am in control. Not my urges. Not the habits I have formed. When I've had times where I considered eating for no reason, I tell myself, "You don't want to eat. You're not hungry. It's a habit and to break a habit you must stop doing it!" For the first time in my life, I'm telling myself no and I'm listening. To accompany that, I've stopped dieting. I've stopped restricting foods. I've stopped telling myself I can't have certain things. It has freed me. I know it's only been a week and I've got a long journey ahead of me but I am so thankful that I found this book because now I have some confidence in my ability to fight and WIN. I'm finally seeing the scale go down and I'm no longer completely obsessed with food and hating myself for wanting or eating it. I'm not acting on insane urges to gorge myself because I'm not having them at the intensity that I was before reading this. The brain mechanics just make sense to me and I'm able to view myself as a person with a normal and healthy brain that just got too good at remembering how to do a destructive thing. I've trained myself to brush my teeth twice a day without fail and now I'm training myself to stop eating food just because it's there, or I had a bad day or even a good day. I will post an update as time passes but if you've had a similar experience and using the emotional appraoch hasn't helped you, I definitely recommend you buy this book and read it in one sitting!