415
people found this helpful, as of 2023
ranked #49,782 most helpful
out of 571,544,897 reviews
★★★★★
This book allowed me to finally accept myself. I'm not broken... just an introvert!
I want to express gratitude to Ms. Cain for she has made it officially OK to be me. All my life, I've had this intangible feeling of being ‘wrong’ or ‘flawed’, or at the very least a minority in every walk of life. Only after my brother recommended this book to me do I finally feel worthy and acceptable (even, dare I say, valuable) for being an introspective person who thinks before speaking or taking action. I am not ‘weird’ or ‘shy’ or ‘anti-social’ as I have been labeled since childhood.
Please forgive me for being too upfront or dramatic, but to put things in perspective I have made repeated attempts on my own life over the last 20 years and, not surprisingly, been plagued by severe, chronic, and recurrent depression and anxiety since early childhood. I believe this book has been a major turning point for me. No longer do I see myself as ‘broken’, ‘sick’, or ’hopeless’, but just an introvert in an extrovert's world. Since reading it, my mental health has improved drastically. And while I'll always have the tendency to be hard on myself, this book and its insights have allowed me to grant myself some compassion and room to breathe. Now I see my biggest ailment all along has been trying to fit into patterns of behavior which were fundamentally against my nature.
A prime example from my life: I called myself weak if I had trouble working 50+ hours a week the way my peers seemed to do without problem. Then, just to meet expectations, I would force myself to go out after work with the same coworkers I had just spent all day around when what I truly wanted was time alone in order to decompress. What happened over and over again is I would push myself until I developed migraines or other physical symptoms. I ignored my body's signals, believed it was possible to deny my needs, and thought that pushing through the pain would be rewarded. No wonder I was so unhappy. If I feel like this, I know there must be others who do too.
The research cited in this book show there are clear neurological differences in the way introverted brains process sensory information. Those findings told me that I truly am hard-wired this way. If the way I take in the world cannot ever be changed, then it's up to me to find the grace to say “This is just the way I am.”
Today I realize I cannot change who I am at the core, but I can learn to love myself. It is also my duty to navigate through life in ways that are sustainable and healthy for me, and to disregard the ‘shoulds’ which were making me ill. We of this personality type can not only improve our own existences, but also possess the ability to make the world better and more well-rounded. Indeed, society can benefit from our unique perspective if it would only take the time to listen to our carefully-formulated and often soft-spoken contributions.
So far I don't yet have a success story of how I have used this knowledge of myself to bring me from rags to riches. But I have moved away from traditional employment to more freelance work and flexible telecommuting positions. I hope that armed with this newfound self-acceptance I will eventually be able to make my introversion work for me, rather than pressuring myself to 'succeed' in spite of this trait. I guess I need to change my definition of success from financial wealth and externally recognized achievements, to one that centers around my internal balance and contentment day-to-day. I’m still a work in progress.
For now, I try to do my part by reaching out to fellow introverts, recommending this book, and letting them know I find them beautiful just the way they are. And I make sure to plan alone time into my days and activities in order to maintain my mental stability.
My wish for everyone who feels like an outsider is to read this book. Chances are you're just an introvert and either don't know it, or have been taught that extroversion is the only way. Once you become comfortable with yourself, the world and its possibilities will open up. Please read this book.
December 2017 · Kindle Store · verified purchase