Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I'm standing on the bank of the Brenta river, I hear the pope calling me from a distance. I try to call out to him, but we don't have any signal where we are standing. I begin to feel a calm come over me, a warm embrace let's say. I turn around and I am completely amazed every time at who is standing behind me. It's Bono, he says to me "Why are you here with the pope on this river?", startled I reply "I think this is a dream, nothing feels real." Then I wake up. As always I look over to my bedstand & there is my Montegrappa Chaos, the source of these dreams. Before you leave and disregard this in disbelief, let me ask you.. is Bono real? Is the Pope REAL? The answer is yes. I can say this for sure because this pen is what brought the 3 of us together on this journey. Every day starts the same, the pope tries to make breakfast & for 2 weeks now I've had to ask him not to put corn flakes in the toaster. Bono does not help this by encouraging popey to throw eggs at my exotic fish. Let's get back to the Pen. You can't see the true infinite detail here on these pictures, but I promise you there is an ancient phrophecy enscribed in the art. The gold, the hand-laid leafing, all wonderful, but the true value is the "secret". This pen puts all others to shame, but sadly these pens cannot be held by the meek. The MCL, for short, is amazing. Once again the item description doesn't even scratch the surface. I will list for you the most amazing features: -Self-refilling ink -writes underwater/upside down -creates it's own gravitational field -spell check -easily located if lost with built in GPS or telepathy -night light -ability to bring random people into being with you -communicates with dead trees -wifi/usb/320DDRAM -built in vibrator with 3 speed settings -remote control -translates any language (except Yiddish) -built in parachute -microphone/webcam -82 mpg -interface allows you to use pen on a computer screen & words will show as type -fire retardant -wind proof I'm sure I am missing some crucial information, but I cannot stress how much your life will change after this purchase. I must go now as I am being told Pope wants go potty. Please use your best judgement & buy as many of these pens as you can get your hands on!