Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Do you wish there was a way you could leverage the power of the Death Star against swollen nasal passages? Would you like to know what it feels like to die, but only in your nose? Do you have a problem with dry eyes, or have some other use for the gallons of saline this product will make you emit through your tear ducts? Sinus Plumber will address all these issues and some you didn't know you even had (for example, non-union workers will leave your nose shrieking like scared little immolated kids without your having to blow up the scab/rat balloon). I didn't realize just how powerful a combination horseradish *and* cayenne pepper would be when placed directly, purposely, in my nose. But I couldn't breath through it, and I had to try something, so - enter Sinus Plumber. I for one was happy to trade my olfactory capacities and weep through the pain of finally, unambiguously, mercilessly clearing my sinus passages in the single most painful way possible - including use of actual fire, which Sinus Plumber is way hotter than. And I'm not talking that candy ass crap you get from a match or a flamethrower or nuclear hellstorm or even fuel-the-continued-fission-reaction-of-a-star type fire. I'm talking like, Big Bang causing, reality-altering fire. This stuff hurts going in, but it works. There is no sinus condition except "wanting to appreciate any kind of scent, aroma or fragrance, ever" that Sinus Plumber does not effectively treat, only it doesn't treat it in a nice "Hey, would you mind opening up, sinus passage?" way. It treats sinus closure as if it were Marty McFly Senior: with a time-travelling, give Biff the Sports Almanac and plop Marty Junior back in the altered timeline without a DeLorean, full well knowing what could have been but wasn't because Biff whacked Marty Senior years ago and stole Marty Junior's mom while actually remembering to take care of Doc Brown so there'd be no Part 3 featuring the music of the boys from Texas, ZZ Top. Your nose will not even have time to beg for mercy as it finds itself in the 9th ring of the sinus abyss with Pinhead, Pennywise and Cthulhu ready to unleash eternal suffering on any swollen or normal interior nose bits. The last sound you hear from your squeaky nose will be the same thing Patrick Roadhouse Swayze heard when the dude that killed him in "Ghost" died as it is dragged down into the shadows by this Balrog of a nose spray. One note - I didn't actually lose consciousness while using this product, but those with challenged constitutions may, not an entirely undesirable thing.