Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

My yorkie's version of "potty trained" is "I'll let you know when I have to pee. Your two minute countdown starts now." Problem: My yorkie has used a hidden location in a spare bedroom as an infrequent squat stop. It went unnoticed for several weeks until I noticed the smell. Soon as I saw it, I screamed "urine trouble!" (Not really.) I immediately went out and bought a $300 carpet steam cleaner with 5 stars here on Amazon. It kinda worked. I bought a similarly reviewed $70 hand held spot steam cleaner. I've tried every special edition of Spot Shot, Resolve and steam cleaner secret sauce: pet stain, deep clean, pet safe, high traffic, pet killer, twin engine, unleaded, etc. All of them kind of worked. Kind of. It was still stinky and there were still yellow shades. Remember, these are multiple overlapping stains at what appear to imply varying levels of hydration which I find insulting because my dog always has fresh water. I digress. Since chemistry and science failed, I went with the old ex-wive's tale silly remedies like different combinations I'd seen that use vinegar or baking soda or red wine or something. None of that worked. (Side note: baking soda will actually fade your carpet if you leave it on longer then a few hours. My pain. Your gain.) Then I found this stuff! Keep in mind, the label says something to the effect of "use me first because that other stuff will just set the stain in." Being a veteran of the Carpet Wars, I knew this meant "have low expectations. This stuff is as dubious as that other chemicals you put on what could loosely be called 'carpet' at this point." If you're listening: Have some confidence in your product, Nature's Miracle! This stuff got it up. Not some. All. Gone. Forever. Wow! Pro tip: Get yourself a new plastic one gallon pesticide sprayer from the garden center of your home store. Remember, you can splurge and get this $15 back saver because you're reading this review and won't have spent money on the carcinogens with broom and brush attachments. Pump up the sprayer and let it rip for five to ten seconds on each spot. Nature's Miracle suggests you drown the spot but that wasn't necessary for me. The mister on a pesticide sprayer is very fine which made consumption a bit more conservative. I knew I had enough when the spot went from yellow to the wet version of my normal carpet color. That's correct. It was the kind of magic that usually involves stem cells or a rooster offering. I left it on for an hour because the label says it's okay for "deep stains" and I knew they were talking directly to me. Patting it dry would have been sufficient but I used my $300 scrub brush (i.e., steam "cleaner") on half of the area and that worked well but not significantly. (At least I got to use electricity.) That's it. This review is over. Longest review I've ever written. Woo! Addendum: Adding all of those chemicals to my carpet never resulted in a chemical fire or chlorine gas spill though I'm sure I probably have rickets or halitosis.