Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

It's my friend's birthday so I wanted to buy her something special and also something that makes her smell better. I thought about getting her a birthday card too but decided against it. Then I was like, why not?? so I bought her a card after all. I'm insecure about the card choice but feeling very confident about this "scent" for her. I saw some people ask if this was for men AND for women... If you're a man and you want other men crawling all over you, be my guest lol! When I was reading the other reviews many women mentioned that their man couldn't get enough of this "scent", so I knew it would be perfect for my friend who hasn't had any sexual intercourse (she's had intercourse, just not sexual), in at least three days. Fast forward to the "giving" of the "gift" lol. Is that funny, or is it just me? At first she was totally offended and was like, ill paraphrase "what...the...dot...doggity dog?! are you trying to tell me something?" I ignored her because I was nervous so I just kept eating my nachos. When I had built up the courage, I said to her "I got you a card. A birthday card." I was still nervous, obviously. I think she knew I meant birthday card when I said 'card' the first time. On second thought, she DEFINITELY knew. But she played along like a sly little minx lol. My impression was that she liked the card but some people thought otherwise (its my word vs theirs at this point). One of the better cards I've written for sure. Reluctantly, she put on the "scent" because her mom taught her (through violence) to always be polite upon receiving a gift, especially if it's given to you by a man. WHAT HAPPENED NEXT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND. SERIOUSLY. It turns out she DID like my card. I have it on good authority. She didn't LOVE it but she definitely liked it. Rumor has it, she read it twice. TWICE! I should not have doubted myself. Anyways, turns out the "scent" really works. She's had sexual intercourse every single day since then and it's been like 6 weeks. Not always with the same partner. She doesn't believe in monogamy, but there's one guy I think she likes and I bet she'd be down to boo up if he asked her to. She'd probably deny it, that clever witch. How do I know how often she has sexual intercourse? she tells me. Could she be lying? Of course. Don't think I haven't thought about that. But I know her, she wouldn't lie about this. Would she lie about liking a birthday card? Sure (but also unlikely). Her weight? Absolutely. Being a raw vegan? I saw that sly minx clever witch at taco bell--and I don't think she was there for the scenery, if you know what I mean ;). I think she was eating there but she looks pretty generic so it could have been somebody else. But still. Would she lie to me about how often she has sexual intercourse? No way. Full stop. Period. Five stars*****