Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

We had a lot of spiders and flies around the house last summer. My gorgeous wife of 34+ years, did as wives all over the world do when confronted by any crawling bug larger than an ampersand in 8-point font. She screamed bloody murder for Prince Charming (well, at least to her I am, thankfully) to take the proper steps necessary to introduce the offending insect to the infernal regions. And so, with continually rolling eyes I did, whenever bidden, which last summer was rather often. Then in November I purchased a Bug-A-Salt, and was just spoiling for the thrill of the hunt. We had a Black Widow spider, roughly the size of a half-dollar coin, and who had some time before taken up residence in the chaise longue (that's the way they spell it in France, folks) just outside our back door. Two shots dispatched her (the spider, not my wife), and my bride fawned all over me with an adoration and respect not previously experienced. I could hardly wait for the return of warmer weather for the real bug-blasting (and other activities inspired by feminine gratitude) to begin. It seems, though, that the insect/arachnid grapevine has been buzzing (har!) with the news of my acquisition. It is now July, and have yet to find a spider anywhere near the place. Last night, however, with children and grandchildren in attendance, I masterfully 86ed a fly who was attempting to share our Pasta Jambalaya. The menfolk observed in deep envy and resentment, while the ladies cheered their (momentarily, at least) conquering Alpha Male. I love the 2nd Amendment. Gentlemen, wrap your Manhood about you and purchase this fine product. Your social lives will dramatically improve.