Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

My wife got me this set of adjustable dumbbells, and ever since they were delivered by the infallible USPS, my mass has just exploded through my clothing. My stretchy workout shirts are nearing the breaking point. I am talking to the lucky mofos that also want rediculous GAINS and stumbled onto this deal. These bad-boys are perfect for the animal that wants giant lats, imposing traps, mountains for pecs, and biceps that will stretch out the sleeves on all your tee shirts. Not only that, but you can use these beasts for lunges, dead-lifts, and squats, so you can grow your quads so big that you cant wear normal jeans. MC Hammer pants and birth control sold separately, and believe me, you are going to need them once you start lifting these hunks of iron to the sky. If you're still on the fence about buying these man-makers I suggest you jump off the fence and scream "Get to the Choppa!" on the way down. And maybe do a roundhouse kick with your scrawny little child legs and then click the "buy now" button and eat some steaks until they get to your door! High-Fives and "Do you even lift"s included in sale price.