Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Day 484 of my imprisonment: This -thing- shows up on the floor to join a growing collection; however, it is more aesthetically pleasing than the others. It appears to be a barrier of some sort or an enchanted gateway that cleans my paws. The evil queen who lives with me and myself have both investigated it thoroughly and granted it passage. The day is chilly and my captors appear to be raving about how it feels "warm" compared to the floor. It is not heated, so they must be stupid. My captors appear to enjoy standing on it; I find it slightly squishy but acceptable. It is reminiscent of the odd stuff under the carpet in the living room. I overhear them say it keeps the carpets from sliding, so naturally this kind of thing must possess magicks. The evil queen and I have done our best to spread the litter through to hallway, but this new magic barrier has been a great hinderance. The queen has complained it contains no crevices to hold her vomit. I concur with her lamentation. Captor 1 called upon the wicked Beast, who roared loudly and consumed our work. I am still not sure why they allow such a dangerous creature to live within these walls. Captor 1 seemed very pleased and spoke words of great kindness about it to Captor 2. Captor 1's satisfaction with the barrier seems to quell her nagging words and she calls upon beast less often. I have taken this into consideration concerning my mission to make the rest of the house smell better. The witches who provided my captors with this magic barrier even emailed a helpful little guide about use and care. I have filed this under my mission notes pending my decision to make the house livable again at the cost of awakening the Beast.