Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

This is a tightly packed box of standard toilet paper. Scott in the paper wrapper. 2 ply only the way 1 ply could ever be 2 ply. Fine. Was bought as a backup supply for when the world goes sideways. Would not have bought had people not started to go insane and attack the shelves. Lets talk ply while we ponder human behavior... I prefer the actual 2 ply paper. 3 ply makes me feel like I'm not one of the people and 4 ply elevates me to the status of Sultan. No, no, no. We must remain normal and sane. 2 ply is the way to go... However then there's 1 ply PRETENDING to be 2 ply. This is detrimental to the soul. Sitting there rolling the thin paper around your hand desperately hoping you can make it work. It is soul sucking madness. And then desperately folding the paper, trying to make it softer even as beads of sweat form on the brow and you fear you'll run out and have to use the tube itself! Wirse still, 1 ply PRETENDING gives rise to the terrible "will nots", which as any may knows are those little balls of toilet paper that get stuck to the hairs on your a** and WILL NOT come out. I shiver at those thoughts. We should never suffer will nots. Never ever ever. Also, never use the tube unless absolutely necessary and then, lie, say you'd never do that. Ever. Scott toilet paper 2 ply is like the nightmare 1 ply. But since I bought these to distribute amongst family and neighbors, I believe I'll survive. Should my preferred brand ever be available in normal size and stock, I'll give all of these away. I dont need to be a sultan and I dont need to feel elevated and removed from my brethren, 2 ply is enough for any mans a**. However this type of 2 ply is not really 2 ply. Scott can't really he serious here can they? Ah what does it matter what lies they tell, I will just wipe my a** with it.