Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I actually bought this weapon to wield death upon house flies. I hate flies. I was just a child when, in a random act of violence, a fly flew into my mouth. Being very young and unable to defend myself, I swallowed the demon insect. Yes folks. It's true. I actually swallowed a fly and in that awful moment my life was altered forever. I tell you now, that having been attacked for merely having an open mouth, I went into shock and while experiencing the agonizing pain that accompanies fly ingestion I passed out. Thankfully a witness called 911 and I was rushed to the ER. Mercifully I remained in a coma for weeks as I underwent a series of surgeries attempting to remove a pair of fly sized wings that had spouted upon my upper spine. Perhaps they hoped I might have some semblance of a normal life in spite of enduring such a horrifically traumatizing event. I'm alive so you've probably already surmised the outcome of those surgeries. I shall always bear the scars both physically and emotionally but the wings are gone and I'm still here. Success? Maybe, because although my brother tells me there are still small wing stubs on my back, I don't even feel them. I awoke with no memory of the events I describe after having passed out. It was my brother, my loving wonderful brother that was kind enough to fill in the blank spots. That was 30 years ago. It was then that I decided to dedicate my life to the eradication of the evil scourge, we call flies. Its been a huge undertaking. An overwhelming commitment made exponentially more difficult because I've not been able leave home since then. They are out there. It's their territory. So I must complete my task, nay, my destiny, from the confines of my home. In the beginning it was exhausting and tedious work. I would track the fly sometimes for days. Then wait, sometimes days longer, for it to land. Only to watch it fly away just as I inched close enough to deliver the killing swat. Or, worse yet, to finally get close enough to strike and then miss my target with an awkward poorly executed swing. Now, although I still sometimes must wait for the dark of night to hear the glorious zap of death, I let the zapper do the dirty work. Which it does. It does the dirty work quite well, in fact. I'm almost ashamed to mention my doubts when the fruit flies invaded my home, I thought they would be too small to get zapped. I did not think they would be attracted to UV light. I was wrong on both counts. It was, therefore without reservation, that I used the zapper in conjunction with apple cider vinegar traps in my no holds barred war on flies. In the end it's hard to gauge which was more effective. The hiccup due mostly to the fact that it is difficult to count fried fruit fly carcasses. In either case, I believe they are gone now. So, while I am still sometimes startled by a random zapping sound, with no fly in sight. It is comforting to know that this weapon is killing flies I can't even see.