Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Okay, so let’s be clear on this: THIS IS A 15 DOLLAR TREE BAG. Did you hear that? Let me say it again: IT IS A 15 DOLLAR TREE BAG. Okay, so we got that out of the way. This is not going to pass a .50 calibre ballistics test. It will not act as a parachute, will not make you breakfast in bed, and unfortunately it will not start your car for you on Christmas day. All those things would be really nice, but again let me just remind you: THIS IS A 15 DOLLAR TREE BAG. So, why do you want to buy this thing? Actually, I don’t know if you do or not. However, I know why you are thinking about it because you are probably a cheapskate-scrooge who hates Christmas as much as I do. Let me guess, you were too cheap… AGAIN…. to buy that real tree (GUILTY!). Now you had to haul that &%$$#@(!!^^%%%$$ foul, flith, foul, foul…. etc artificial tree out of the attic. I know man, I hear you. I have to walk 50 flights of stairs on my knees after getting the tree down as well to complete penance for all the unchristmassy things I utter in anticipation of getting the tree down.... And I'm a protestant who does not believe in penance! It stinks being cheap, but you can’t justify spending 30 bucks for something that will last for a couple weeks right? I totally hear you. Right now, you are thinking, “How do I get that” %$#@%$#**&(^^%$%$% tree back in the attic? Maybe I can torch it… leave it by the curb… nah my wife won’t buy that I am a big enough idiot to mistake it for a real tree…. hum….. it has to go back in the attic…” Am I right? Yeah, then this bag will work for you because you are cheap like me. You can stuff that tree in the bag, drag it up there, throw it in the corner, and fugghetaboutit until next Thanksgiving. Does this thing work? Yup! Will it help you get that tree put away so you can move onto more important and fun winter projects? Yup! Will it get your wife off your back and not make the tree task so horrible? Sort of. I hate Christmas so I will say that it makes it more tolerable. Pros: -Makes putting the tree away less of a task -Makes getting the tree down less of a task -is sort of a nice green -Allows you to forget about the tree for the rest of the year…. YIPPEEE! -Allows for much LESS swearing after Thanksgiving -Makes Christmas decorating LESS dreadful -Can ultimately save your marriage -Cheaper than a divorce lawyer -Doesn’t cost you half your house after a settlement Cons -Does not embrace Star Trek beaming technology (That would rock, Scotty beam this thing up to the attic) -Will not stop a .50 caliber bullet -Does not start your car for you on Christmas morning -Has not made me a latte -Failed to act as a parachute (boy that was embarrassing) Just buy the bag because your wife already knows you’re a cheapskate, she still loves you, and heck its only a 15 dollar splurge item that will make your life easier.