Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Dear Reader, I was a simple man. I saw hot sauces, i would then try said hot sauce. As a U. S. Marine Veteran, MMA fighter and all around bad ass, i had tried just about every hot sauce there was. Viewing this online i just knew i had to conquer this one as well. When it arrived in the mail, i was immediately captured by it intimidating appearance and obsessive warning labels all over. It didnt scare me away as my excitement grew i opened the bottle and took a whiff. Drawn into a false comfort by the lack of an overwhelming you are about to get your ass kicked smell, i pushed forward into the unknown. As i look at the sauce, it takes me off guard as it resembles blood more than a nice flowing Sauce of death. i take a toothpick and did it into the sauce and as almost in one motion lick it clean. I wait 10 seconds and didnt feel anything. Kinda pissed off i rushed with a follow up full on finger tip dip. BIG MISTAKE As if the devil himself lured me in, the sweats from the first dip started to kick in and it never let up, then the atom bomb dropped on every sense in my body, the tears started rolling, my stomach started cramping, my body went numb and i started speaking in foreign languages. milk didnt help, bread, crackers, NOTHING. Out of pure desperation i go outside and put my mouth to the call of natures breeze somehow fueling the fire. For the first time in my life, i truly felt useless. I went inside and started grabbing ice to pour in my bath tub to cool my core temperature down and after it was prepped i jumped in. It was the most grueling and painful 2 1/2 hours of my life. After i came down, i felt like most of my body fluids has been drained and had such respect for the first hot sauce to conquer me. Do NOT underestimate this sauce. IT IS THE REAL DEAL Moral of the story, dont dip anymore than a toothpick REAL MORAL - Dont be f****** stupid