Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

As I was casually browsing Amazon for cat-related paraphernalia, I stumbled upon these colorful, kitten covered tights. I loved them the second I saw them. Without thinking too much, I bought them. I mean, they were about 16 dollars, all in. The delivery took much less time than I thought, and though the package was covered in Chinese writing, I knew that my tights were inside. I tore open the small, compact envelope. What I saw inside was nothing like I had imagined. What you don't see in the pictures, is that each cute, fluffy kitten, has an upside-down crucifix scrawled on its forehead. Let me say that again: An upside-down crucifix. THESE TIGHTS ARE SATANIC KITTEN TIGHTS. EACH TINY, INNOCENT KITTEN HAS STRAYED FROM THE LIGHT OF GOD, BEARING THE UNHOLY MARK OF SATAN ON THEIR TINY FLUFFY FOREHEADS. THEIR LONG, CUTE WHISKERS FEELING AROUND IN THE FIREY REALM OF HELL. THEIR SOFT MEWLING REACHING ONLY THE EARS OF THE EVIL DEAD. NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I SEEN SUCH PURITY TARNISHED BY THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS IN SUCH A FASHION. WHOMEVER DESIGNED THESE TIGHTS, IS TO BE FEARED BY ALL WHO WORSHIP GOD. As a cat enthusiast and Satanist, I have never been more happy with a purchase.