Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I currently sit on my porcelain throne, in absolute pain, as I write this honest review. I would like to start, that these noodles are absolutely delicious. The moment these noodles touched my soiled tongue, set off a wave of serotonin that could only compare to Jesus himself gently placing the tip of His finger upon. Bouncy, firm noodles, unlike nothing that you cheap peasants know and have tasted the typical soggy, fall-apart, over-the-counter noodles that you find at your local Wally World. Just as any eager spice enthusiast out here, my first bite accumulated to a rather, large, gluttonous fork-ful; my ego was thousands of kilometers ahead of itself. The first bite, easy, no problem. "Wow. This is hot." I can do this. Second voluptuous bite - Yes, yes, YES, I CAN BEAT THE ODDS!! No. No. Oh no. My mouth went numb, with contentious amounts of mind-blowing pain As I force myself to push back blinding violence of this unforgiving spice, I gather myself to shove the third portly serving into the burning hole that devours sustenance to nourish my body. And this was what broke me, mentally, physically, on an existential level that no mortal has felt. I currently sit here, in a cold sweat. My body is numb. I am proud to say that I have only shed one single tear, but this pain is forever eternal. No amount of therapy, toilet paper, or Preparation H can heal me from what I selflessly put myself through. 9/10, would try again.