Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I will start off by saying I am writing this review out of anger. If you want the product review, skip to the next paragraph because this one will be explaining the reason I now have 2. I bought this thing as a gift for my girlfriend. Well, it showed up and said “the happy” on the box. Me, thinking it was a fake, started a return and planned on sending it back. Cut to two weeks later and my girlfriend’s birthday is now right around the corner. I place a new order being shipped directly from “the comfy” and the new box arrives with “the happy” on the side of the box. Needless to say I’m unhappy but I’m also confused at why the original maker of the item would sell a fake one. I open the box and find the inner box is the correct item. So the next day, I give it to my girlfriend. My girlfriend, fake excitement and all, puts it on to do a little modeling before taking it off (definitely needs to be washed after coming out of the vacuum seal). Well, she convinces me to keep the one I still haven’t returned so we can match and wear them on movie nights. I get home, have to do laundry and start a load with this thing thrown in the wash as well. I’m worried the color might bleed so I only washed it with like colors but that wasn’t even necessary, it washed perfectly. Drying wasn’t bad either, I figured there may be some shrinkage or it may take forever to fully dry but I was pleasantly surprised to find out neither was true. I put it on and this is what I found. Let. Me. Tell. You. I was a Marine, I thought I’ve known comfort, the comfort of being home, hugged by a loved one, the love of a dog who hasn’t seen you in months. I THOUGHT I knew comfort, until my mind was blown straight off my head, pink mist and all. This thing was like being hugged by God. Still warm from the dryer, I’m afraid I don’t have any serotonin to enjoy on anything else for the rest of my life. Picture me, standing in a room over my bed, my clothes half put away and me saying out loud “no way” and “there’s just no way.” I’m flabbergasted. My amount of problems on a daily basis is low, but they just went through the roof as I try to decide what is important enough for me to take this thing off. Food? It can wait, I’ll starve before I take this thing off. Sex? Better get comfortable with not seeing my body. Company? Pfft, fat chance. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this dumb looking thing just made me question how I ever lived without it. Damnit. Buy one, you won’t regret it.