Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

This item is awesome...bear with me. This review will be worth the read. I stepped outside this a.m. to walk my daughter to the bus stop and noticed the bidet sitting on my front patio. "Oh, joy! My bidet has arrived!" I thought to myself. A terrible case of highly contagious rotavirus caught after the recent eclipse at friend's house inspired this purchase. It was such a horrible, explosive case of GI illness that it caused the ONLY instance of hemorrhoids I've ever had in my life. Not even natural childbirth had brought about hemorrhoids for me. Anywho...fast forward to after my daughter was safely on the bus. I briskly walked home, grabbed the bidet package, tore it apart in an excited frenzy, commenced to read the installation instructions and began to install this bad boy. Who am I kidding? Lol! I was too excited to read through the entire two pages of instructions, so I got to work right away...then I hit a snag. :( I had a non-flexible tube that fed into my toilet tank and could not continue with the installation. So, off to Lowe's I went!!! I got to my local Lowe's, found a helpful employee named Keith who works in the plumbing department, he hooked me up with what I needed right away, I paid the cashier (made sure to get my military service discount), sped off for home and immediately picked up where I left off. And I'll tell you, installation was a breeze. I adjusted the hoses and made sure there weren't any leaks then I got down to testing the bidet nozzles with the lid open...and was impressed! Water shot outside of my toilet bowl and completely across the bathroom where it splattered against my wall! Impressed and excited are the two adjectives to describe my feelings at the time. This bidet has cleaning power! It's a veritable jet stream of CLEAN! I ran water through the lines a couple more times to ensure clean, clear water was running through them then I took my proper place upon thy throne and tested it out....wow. Pleased doesn't even begin to describe how using the bidet felt. I feel taller, stronger, faster, amazing... I will tug on Superman's cape. I will spit into the wind. I will pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger AND I will mess around with Jim because this bidet is AMAZING.