Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

In Congo's Shadow is the inspiring memoir of a Hermes scarf-wearing gold digger who abandons her privileged life in Scotland to form a friendship with an imaginary little Congolese orphan girl named Zimba. While the Hutus and Tutsis wage a bloody war over her collection of Valentino Rock Stud Heels, Linton valiantly struggles to build an imaginary little school for all the underprivileged Zimbas of Africa under the fabled Mukusi tree. It was during this turbulent period that Linton came to the revelation that she must use her unmatched beauty and knack for sipping fine wines while cuddling a chihuahua to let the world know that the amount she sacrifices per year is a lot more than you'd be willing to sacrifice if blah-di-blah-di-blah. Monsoon season came and went, and the self-described "skinny white muzungu with long angel hair" went on to a famed acting career, appearing in multiple Oscar nominated roles in acclaimed blockbuster films such as Cabin Fever and Screwball: The Ted Whitfield Story. More monsoons came and went, and the ultra-glamourous and unspeakably beautiful Linton made the ultimate sacrifice by marrying an unattractive subprime mortgage lending billionaire who was twenty years her senior so that she and her husband could give more to the economy than you or me. In this brilliant and highly articulate chronicle, Linton reminds us that the liberals and working class zimbas of this world with their crude fashion sense should be thankful for the great contributions that the rich and beautiful have made to our economy and should chill out.