Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Where do I begin with this gem! Some backstory... I'm recently married. My wife moved in from out of town and wasn't used to dogs, especially the two large beasts I have (Mastiff and Shepherd). They are at my side constantly, especially when I sleep at night. Between the three of us (myself and my two dogs), we could suffocate my wife. Between my farts, the dogs farts and the general animal smell they leave behind, it was unbearable for my wife. I'd leave the room from time to time in the middle of the night for a drink of water or a snack only to come back and realize our bedroom smells like a human waste processing plant at night. So my wife decided to sleep in our guest bedroom so she could breathe and, well, sleep in a non-toxic environment. In order to combat this foul oder my dogs and I proudly produce at night in a bedroom, I started looking for a miracle machine. I didn't think I'd find one. I bought this unit based on another review that says it cures fart smells. It arrived undamaged and well boxed. Upon plugging the unit in after some filter assembly (took all but one minute), it started to run on the 'Auto' cycle. After a few seconds the fan got noticeably stronger and the air quality indicator light jumped up to 'yellow', which means the air quality is so-so. To dumb it down, I'd say if the light is green you're breathing in air from the garden of eden. If it's yellow, someone must have tooted. If it's red, there is basically the equivalent of a huge steaming pile of elephant poo on the floor somewhere and you should have a mask on or immediately flee to the outdoors for fresh air. Back to firing this unit up for the first time... I was still skeptical that it would work as advertised. It's billed as being able to tell on it's own if there's a foreign odor in the room (whether it's the aroma of beans and chili on the oven or the smell of a fresh hot fart). I positioned the unit on a small end table about level with our king sized bed next to where I sleep. I had my back to the unit, my butt about 2 feet away from it, while I stood there reading the instructions and description on how it works. While I read the manual, I inadvertently let out a little mouse fart. And I mean a super little one... probably small enough that if anyone was around me they would have neither heard it or smelled it. And by inadvertently, I mean I didn't squeeze one out to see if the unit would respond. It just happened without any planning on my part. Less than 3 seconds after my little toot, the PlasmaWave 5300 took control of the room. With my back still to it I heard the fan kick in. I thought the darned thing was going to take off. When I turned around, the air quality indicator light was as red as it could get. And this just 3 seconds after my breaking wind ever so slightly. Coincidence? At first I thought so. What to do at that point? Begin a real test. I proceeded to eat a can of lima beans (because everyone knows if you eat any type of cooked bean whole you'll work up some good farts for crop dusting, right?). About an hour later I re-entered our bedroom. The machine operating quietly on auto-pilot... air quality light back to garden of eden green... my stomach and butt ready to unleash an awful wrath. This time I called my wife into the room to witness the spectacle. I bent over about 6 feet from the unit and let one go. And it was a good one. Sure enough, the PlasmaWave went back into launch mode... firing on all cylinders. This thing can really move some air!! If you were between the unit and me, you could smell my glory. But if you were outside of that range, no problem. This unit ate my odor like it needs it as fuel to survive. Ever tooting incident in the room that followed resulted in the same response from the machine. We now leave it on auto overnight and my wife can now sleep with me and my two vile smelling dogs. I even caught her one day forcing one out to show it off to her sister (girls do it too apparently... don't let them fool you). This machine is amazing. Easily the best purchase I've ever made on Amazon. Not only does it keep a room smelling fresh, it saves marriages. How could it NOT be the best purchase ever made when that's taken into consideration? If my wife is sleeping in the same room with me again, one thing might lead to another and our son might get a sibling. All thanks to this machine. If you had any doubts, you shouldn't now. Buy this machine. Save your marriage. Have more kids. Breathe easy. PS- the 'chirping' from the Plasma thingy being on is hardly evident. You can hear it if you want to, but it's so minuscule you won't hear it while you sleep. At least I don't. Doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I think the units subtle sound is great white noise for sleeping (if you're used to having a fan on, this is no different). And if the Plasma thing does bother you, you can turn it off. As for the unit cycling into overdrive occasionally while you sleep, that will depend on how flatulent you or your better half is. If you think you might not like it getting real loud while you sleep after you lift the covers from your dutch oven, you can set it on one of four fan settings that will stay constant throughout the night. My wife and I set it on 1 if our tummies aren't upset, or 2 if we know we're going to be cutting some cheese in our sleep. If you plug this unit in and it stays on red for more than 10 minutes with the fans going full steam, I suggest you have your home demolished. It's not safe for you or your family to live in. But this baby pretty much devours any foul smell pretty quickly. I'm beyond pleased.