Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

For years and years I have broken many a tooth attempting to open my bottles of Schlitz Malt Liquor. It got so bad at one point I was mistaken for a Piranha while out swimming in the creek and my Uncle Ned almost shot me! That was when I knew it all had to change. Should I give up my love of Malt Liquor? NO! Should I finally go see a Dentist and have steel teeth put in like the guy on the 007 movie? Too expensive, wouldn't be able to buy the Malt Liquor then. So I logged onto my AOL dial up account and went on a quest to find the one bottle opener that would suit my needs and would keep with my high standards of decorating as well. And what did I find to match my wall in the kitchen with the Fake Singing Fish, mason jars full of shine, and hilarious picture of Dogs Playing Poker? Why this, the greatest bottle opener ever created. No longer do I have to wonder what it would be like to open my brew in Bambi's arse. I just placed this on the wall next to my picture of Grannie and think of her every time I force a bottle into it. I just have to keep Uncle Ned away from it though because he almost shot it too. Bottoms Up!