Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

So here's the situation: I wanted to give my computer a bit of a boost with this card because it's been executing commands in DOS pretty slowly and running Text Adventure even slower. My current build has an Intel 80386 running at 25 MHz, 2MB of RAM and an American Megatrends BIOS. This card seemed to fit the bill so I bought it. Despite my credit card now being in enough debt to justify starting a new life on Mars, this GPU is amazing. When I put it into my computer (which I had to modify on a quantum level to accept PCI-e), my computer grew legs, walked to Best Buy, bought Windows 8.1 and installed it on itself. At this moment my 30 year old computer is somehow running 8.1 with no problem at all despite my CPU now glowing brighter than the sun and producing enough heat to incinerate any mass within 2,000 miles of it. I had to bury my computer underground and run 2,000 mile long USB, VGA and power cables to my monitor above ground. Funny thing is, soon after I went through this ordeal, people started complaining about global warming. Probably unrelated though. So in short, great GPU if you don't mind living off of ramen and tap water in an outhouse for the rest of your life. Hope you got a good laugh out of this. :) If not, don't report. Why do it? Why does it personally offend you? It's not like it's going to taint the image of Amazon forever. If eel like those reporting or attacking me have a chip on their shoulder. People can't take a joke anymore.