Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

It started quietly enough. A fun internet video using this as an ingredient. A half-joking order of a small bottle just to try. A chicken recipe that didn't really work because I can't cook chicken like an adult. Then it started showing up everywhere in my cooking. It's on an omelette. It's on cheesey garlic bread. It's slathered over leftovers. That's when I ordered the bigger bottle. That's when the CHANGE happened. I knew that the jig was up when my wife found me in the kitchen at midnight with a fresh scoop of Lao Gan Ma (with the oil drained) resting in my gaping maw. She said some things. They didn't matter. I had my Midnight Scoop. I was content. Now Lao Gan Ma has joined the hallowed halls of the "Twice-A-Year" category of foods in my home along with the Utz Party Mix tub and the 20oz bag of French's Crispy Jalapeños. Twice per year I am permitted to obtain these things, because they are criminally delicious, gloriously unhealthy, and I simply cannot be trusted around them. Learn from my mistakes. Order an extra jar. Hide it before your SO does.