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★★★★★
A Game Changer! A life changing book.
I bought this book over a year ago and didn't write a review until I knew if I liked the book or if it helped. Boy does it! This is the place to begin if you have a difficult child.
My child wasn't violent or terrible, he was just more difficult. Much more difficult than his siblings. Everything was harder with him. It was harder to get him to bed, harder to get him to stop doing something he shouldn't, harder to teach him and so on. He was quick to anger and stayed angry longer than his father and I felt was warranted for the situation.
As a former teacher, having seen hundred and hundreds of students go through my classroom and having two other children, I just felt something was wrong with our situation. I was worried about him and I was worried that as he got bigger and older he might turn violent. So I started looking and searching. I took countless 'is your child.... ' questionnaires and generally tried to figure out what I needed to be doing with him. And when I stumbled across an article about Ross W. Greene, I thought 'this might be a help'. So I bought this book.
Mr Greene explained what I couldn't understand with my son. He helped me understand why my son was reacting (or acting) the way he was in various situations. He gives some simple suggestions and a way to begin to implement this 'new way of parenting'. It was not overwhelming because it started with one or two simple things and then you could try the next thing and the next thing.
And then, one day, you realize you have developed a set of strategies that you can use during difficult times. And what is important is none of these strategies involve spanking, yelling, swearing, or any other form of tough love.
And then one day, my son got angry and instead of being angry and storming off and slamming doors and yelling, he sat down and he talked. He talked to me and he talked about what he was thinking and we figured it out. After it was over, I cried because this was the son I KNEW was 'in there' and this book and Ross Greene's other books helped me help my son.
So it's not so much a "new way of parenting" as it is a better way of parenting for me. This book is about looking at skills that are lagging and helping your child develop those skills. It is about picking and choosing which strategy you will use for each situation because you understand more now than you ever did. It is about listening to what your child can't say because he (or she) doesn't know how to say what they are thinking and feeling. It is about building trust, respect flowing both ways, listening, and trying to understand the root of the behavior.
I hope that everyone who has a difficult child (or more than difficult) is able to find some hope. For us, this book was the beginning of the hope.
Worth every penny.
November 2017 · Books · verified purchase