Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

This is a beast of a shoe horn. I wanted something durable because my last one broke. I think I will use this shoe horn until I die, or until cybernetic leg replacements are invented, whichever comes first. If I sharpened it I could slay dragons with it. If this shoe horn were found in the troll cave in the Hobbit, it would be of elvish making, it would be called "Shorn the heel saver." The maple leaf on it would glow blue if athlete's foot was near. I made you a flow chart to help you decide whether to buy this. Need a shoe horn? ----- Yes -------> Buy this shoe horn.