Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Alright, let's cut to the chase. I saw multiple videos and reviews of this product, and let's just say the bully that has been stealing my lunch doesn't anymore. He grabbed my 2.5 pound lunch bag, and stuffed his face. Now this kid is FAT. Like, 4 feet wide. No joke. So he grabs this bag, and guzzles the death bears. I say "hey! You may not like those!" "SHUT THE F*** UP!" "Alright just a fair war-" "I DON'T GIVE A S***" Little did he know... So he completely destroys my "Gummy Bear stash" and lumbers away. Our next period has an attached bathroom as it is a old part of the school. Good thing is, he has less chance going in his pans. So he walks in, looking all confident, thinking he "owns me" or something. But about 10 minutes into the class, he starts sweating. Like, REALLY sweating. Like he'd just ran a marathon (or about 10 feet for him) and jumps up, charging into the bathroom. The entire class hears what sounds like a soda bottle spraying everywhere, followed by moans and excellent butt-trumpeting. The entire class is silent. The only sound coming from this side of that life-saving barrier we call a door is the teacher calling the school nurse. However, by the Time the nurse arrived, the smell wasalready like corpses wrapped in hair on fire. We evacuated the room. But the noxious Gummy Gas™ Set off the ancient fire alarms. Well, there are loud noises, horrible odors and I was sitting there laughing my a$$ off about this kid crapping his ass off. The rest of school that day was cancelled. Some retarded kids thinks he has Ebola which is just making it all better. I'm listening to them speculate while I write this and my buddies (who plotted with me) wait for my Mom to pick us up. Thanks Haribo!