Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

The person sitting at a desk 10 feet away from me eats 2 apples, a pound of baby carrots, and a quarter cup of almonds every single day, five days a week (at exactly the same times every day). He spends 1 hour and 33 minutes of each day crunching loudly on something (I've timed it). I'm mad at myself for not saying something the first week we shared an office together, because now it's too late. How do you tell an otherwise nice person that you're at the brink of institutionalization because of his eating habits, which haven't varied for a single day in 4 years? I've tried dropping subtle truth bombs, like "Did you know that an apple has nearly as many grams of sugar as a donut? Crazy..." to no effect. Thanks to the "crunchy cucumbers quelled" review on this very product, I gave these noise-isolating headphones a try. They have very nice sound quality for both music and podcasts, and they do what they say they'll do: they isolate noise. But they don't cancel it. I can still hear the initial CRACK of the first bite of the apple through these headphones with music on at a reasonable level, but the subsequent chewing has disappeared. I think it's enough to save my sanity, and my job.