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people found this helpful, as of 2023
ranked #54,382 most helpful
out of 571,544,897 reviews
★★★★★
Charming, straightforward, and useful- what more could you need?
This was a lovely quick read, and I would highly recommend it. It only took me two days of light reading to finish as the book is refreshingly short. Having studied psychology and being more than a little bit obsessed with all things related to therapy, I have seen this skill practiced in the most effective therapists. On my normal day-to-day interactions with people…not so much.
So take a moment to think about the people that you love being around the most. Why do you love being around them? Obviously they’re awesome. Part of that awesomeness though is derived from the both of you being able for feel heard and cared for by one another. The best and quickest way to achieve that mutual form of love and understanding is through validation. Michael Sorenson uses charming stories to illustrate the overwhelming benefits and concise steps to create a practical approach that you can use in your everyday interactions. After having read it I’ve found myself trying to be more cognizant of times when I have the opportunity to validate a friend or a family member. While it has only been a week, it has certainly been helpful. The best part is that it is incredibly simple too.
Quite a bit of the research utilized in the book is from John Gottman who is world-renowned for his research on relationships and what makes them work. If you are looking for books to read in an effort to improve your interpersonal relationships, whether it’s work, dating, marriage, etc., I would say there are 3 main books/authors to turn to. I Hear You- by Michael Sorenson, Hold Me Tight- by Sue Johnson (leading researcher/ developer of EFT), and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work- by John Gottman. Combining the information of all three books will really provide the best tools for you to use in your relationships and give you the best results.
There are only two things that I would complain about. 1) I would have loved to see references listed on the back so I could look into some of the studies that were mentioned in greater depth. This isn’t a problem for the average reader, just for people like me who want to dig into the research that was listed. 2) I would have loved more of the author’s insight on self-validation, but maybe we can save that for another book. ;-)
Please enjoy this wonderful book and all the insight it provides. You really will see an improvement once you implement it in your life.
Happy reading!
July 2017 · Kindle Store · verified purchase