Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Where's Lewis Grizzard when you need him? Unfortunately, he's not around to pick up the gauntlet this time. At any rate... The author's reasons for disparaging the South here have to do with the region's conservatism -- both political and religious -- along with the typical spiel about racism, endemic ignorance, bellicose rednecks and a diet rich in everything bad. If only he added inbreeding to the mix and covered the wrestling matches in Flomaton, Alabama, his social observations on this score would (hardly) rival those of Hunter S. Thompson. I hasten to add that HST was a true son of the land with all the privileged insights that such entails. Be that as it may, and for the record... Per capita, the most conservative states politically are Idaho, Wyoming and Utah. These are followed by Nebraska and Kansas. In trail here are Alabama and South Carolina. The rest of the Old South is kind of iffy in comparison, with Florida, Virginia and North Carolina being swing states. Upon last check, Idaho is part of the author's native Northwest. Look at a map. The red state blues is not a malady unique to those of us with liberal persuasions who live in the Southeast. Also, there have been four Southern presidents in the last fifty years. Only one of these (George W) was not a Democrat in the progressive tradition. W, by the way, comes from a long line of New England Brahmins. That is to say, his roots in the South aren't very deep. All that good old boy shuck of his is cultivated. He's a blue blooded Yankee by birth and pedigree. In contrast, Al Gore's Southern cred is genuine. And, it was the US Supreme Court that threw the election in Y2K, not the one in Tallahassee. George W notwithstanding, LBJ signed the Civil Rights Act into law in 1964. Carter won the Nobel Peace Prize, and Clinton ushered in the prosperity boom of the 1990s. Not a bad track record, should anyone ask. So we're a counterproductive political backwater. Super inferus infeste... What to say about Southern belligerence? Yes, we fired on Ft. Sumpter (s'pose I need to check my spelling on that one) and the Civil War ensued. The outcome was settled a long, long time ago. Please give it a rest. George W is not Stonewall Jackson -- even by a long shot -- and Iraq was not the Shenandoah Valley. I also hasten to add that the Cotton Bowl has nothing to do with 'The War of Rebellion' either. Distempered though we may be, nowadays African Americans make up the balance of players in the SEC. Once again, please give it a rest. Else, bring those Oregon Ducks on down here, and let us roast 'em for ya. Inferus infeste! The author also has a particular animus toward religious fundamentalism. If Southern evangelicals have their way, classes in new earth creationism will be coming to a state supported school or university near you. Consider yourself warned! Once converted, you'll be like us, 'full of imbecilic awe' and slack jawed, toothless consternation should you happen on a picture of a Stegosaur. I have to interrupt all this for a news flash. Accredited colleges that teach this sort of thing are extremely rare in these parts. Last count has their number in the single digits. Any sophomore at the University of South Alabama is already thoroughly versed in Mr. Darwin's ideas. Introductory courses in the life sciences are a mandatory part of the curriculum. This holds true for all publicly funded colleges, universities and branches thereof throughout the South. Certain unaccredited Christian schools, on the other hand, do teach creationism. However, they aren't unique to the region. You can find them in places like San Diego and Portland (sic). E.O. Wilson, the famous evolutionary biologist at Harvard, hails from Alabama, by the way. Get real! Regarding education at the K-12 level, national rankings have have North Carolina in the top ten at number seven. Texas and Florida count in the top twenty, while Virgina, Georgia and Alabama best Connecticut, California and Oregon in overall performance. Sadly enough, South Carolina, Mississippi and Louisiana finish near the bottom. Without the last three states, the regional average is well in the middle of the bell shape curve nationally. Check the NEA stats online. MS and SC don't share in the overall economic growth that can be found elsewhere throughout the Southland. Louisiana, on the other hand... It would take a commission of genius level experts a decade or so even to begin unravelling the mess there. Score one for Mr. Thompson. With respect to homeschooling and charter schools, could it be that some people prefer to educate their young outside the public venue for reasons that have nothing to do with race? After all, It's hard enough to stay sane while raising a teenager under the best circumstances. If there's a way to steer our young away from drugs and other bad influences that proliferate in high schools throughout the land, why not give it a try? People homeschool on the West Coast, and charter schools are everywhere -- except Alabama and West VA. Go figure on that one. Onward we must go to the subject of racism. Seems like that's something special to these parts as well. Let's just have a look and see. There's a Redneck supply retailer somewhere in the outback of South Carolina who sells Klan robes. Ergo, bigotry of this ilk is par for the green. Case closed. All I can say on this score is that the last nationally reported hate crime took place in Wisconsin outside a Sikh temple. The perpetrator was a skinhead type who found his calling by associating white supremacist groups in SoCal. Also, the last major outbreak of racial violence in the country happened twenty years ago in LA. Remember the Rodney King beating and it's aftermath? Interestingly enough, Oregon has twice as many hate crimes per capita as South Carolina. The ratio here gets larger by a factor of ten when comparing Massachusetts to Mississippi. California and Colorado don't fair so well in this respect either. Check the FBI stats online. The author relies heavily anecdotal evidence throughout his book to support some fairly extravagant claims. All I can do is point to salient facts. Discrimination in any form has been illegal down here for half a century! I live in a middle class neighborhood alongside people of various persuasions having to do with skin tone. We get along just fine. Whether this has to do with the cultural legacy of the Civil Rights movement or dementia on my part is anyone's guess. If the author has it right, though, given that I'm Southern and white, it's just a matter of time before I get soaked on Jack and start burning crosses on lawns here and there throughout the homeowners association. Then there is the issue of the money pipeline from DC to all points South. According to Thompson, transfer payments to the region stress the Federal Budget excessively in comparison to those that go elsewhere in the nation. One reason for this given scant notice by the author has to do with the number of people who retire here each year from the North (sic). They come by the legion with Social Security checks in tow. This Exodus has been ongoing for decades. There are other demographic considerations that apply to the Federal cash flow In this direction as well. These have to do with illegal immigration and so forth. That is to say, very few tax dollars are being spent by way of welfare on accoutrements of the redneck lifestyle (e.g., Dixie license plates, posters off Hank Jr. and half gallon bottles of Jack Daniels), Elsewhere still, the venerable scribbler calls us Southerners to task for our native cuisine -- something that makes us fat, unhealthy and a burden to the health care system at large. Time for another news update. Obesity has gone viral! It's a national health problem versus a local one. Thompson tosses around statistics on the subject like pizza dough. The restaurant chains here can be found throughout the land. We also buy the same produce and whatnot that's readily available in supermarkets nationwide. Sushi? We got it. The Food Channel? Got that too. Nutritional supplements native to our own benighted land (Jack and Coke) are ubiquitous as well. Where's the rub here? Then again, there is this place just outside of Vicksburg that has the best fried chicken on the planet. Go there. It's well worth the trip, even if you happen to live on the West Coast. There's also New Orleans where the practice of the culinary arts rivals or even surpasses that in Paris. I wonder what they eat in Oregon. Corn dog étouffée? Lastly, the author likens our business people to whores. The rationale here has something to do with the local powers that be canvassing for foreign investments on a broad front. If there's a logical connection here, please feel free to point it out. The tax laws here favor investments in manufacturing and so forth, and the wages are commensurate with the cost of living -- something that's significantly lower than elsewhere, especially the West Coast. Nonetheless... Courting firms like Volkswagen and Hyundai puts us in the same category as cheap hookers, at least in the author's mind. One can only assume that the maestros of commerce in places like Eugene and Portland comport themselves like proper ladies with a flirtatious streak when on the prowl for investors, both nearby and afar. Seattle based Boeing is building a major production facility in lower Alabama of all places -- and by the way! Say what you will, but our whores are having a fair run of gentlemen callers. How are the ladies doing up there in Oregon? To sum things up, the book is mean spirited in a tongue and cheek sort of way. For that reason I don't recommend it as a model for research in the social sciences outside the confines of a mental hospital. Write something along this line about street gangs or the Trobriand Islanders, and you'll be hard pressed to find a sane sponsor, much less a publisher of any repute. White Southerners, on the other hand, are safe targets -- especially for straw man arguments supported by loads of anecdotal hearsay and bovine scatology dressed up as facts.