Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I take toast very, very seriously. It is my favorite food. I have been looking for a toaster oven that can toast exotic items like bread. Turns out, the people at Black & Decker do not want me to make or eat toast. This toaster oven toasts incredibly well. Incredibly. Well. In fact, it will toast your entire kitchen. With fire. This toaster oven actually takes bread and turns it into fire. It is a magical machine, full of mystery and wonder. If you love fire and toast, then this is the appliance for you. If you like to stay warm by the glow of a fire, then this is the appliance for you. How to use: 1. Get fire insurance. 2. Put bread in toaster. 3. Extinguish. (Not with water though, that causes other problems, including, but not limited to, your toast being soggy) It's pretty easy to use, except for step 1 which requires the use of a phone, which Black & Decker does not make, which is probably good because I don't like fire to be too close to my ears. The con of this toaster oven is that it catches on fire. The pro of this toaster oven is that it catches on fire.* *Note this is a benefit only if you are a fire enthusiast. Otherwise, this toaster only has cons. This toaster is not suitable for children or pets. This toaster is not suitable if your kitchen contains anything flammable, such as furniture. This toaster only comes in white but will turn black or brown after a few uses, so don't worry about the lack of color choices. Black matches everything. The oven door does not close very easily. It has a blue light, I guess that's cool. The timer ticks. It sounds like this: tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Ding. WOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! And then EEEEEKKKKK FIIIRREEEE!!!! PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT BUT WAIT FIRST LET ME TAKE A PICTURE SO I CAN POST IT TO MY FACEBOOK.