Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

This is the first book by Mr. Nolan I've read, and it appears it will also be my last. I started this story with high hopes, the blurb having caught my attention. But I can't get past chapter eight. After chapter two, I kept reading and wondering if soon I'd reach a point in one of the remaining six chapters where Mr . Nolan wrote, "April Fools! I actually wrote this when I was 15." Please keep in mind the following comments (and brief introduction) are merely my opinions. Everyone has a right to their own, so please don't let my opinions stop you from reading this if you want. This is one of the most inanely written stories I've ever read. The writing is an insult to any reader who has more than 6 brain cells. 1. I've never read such stilted and contrived dialogue from adults. 2. I'm not sure Mr. Nolan has ever heard of point of view shifts. He head-hopped constantly, including giving the pov of a dog. Yes, Hank, a dog. Most often, inexperienced writers would shift pov's every paragraph. Mr. Nolan has gone so far as to head-hop within paragraphs. 3. He explains things to us as if we are children. 4. He actually wrote the following sentence: "At the same time, they both said in unison..." Afraid we readers don't understand the meaning of "at the same time"? 5. His characters are caricatures, with no depth, no dimensions. Most author's characters are really marionettes, doing what the author wills. But in this case, I feel like I can see their strings. 6. Most of his characters' motivations can be summed up in their words, "Oh, well..." and some excuse is given for why they did something. I'm going to stop here, with both the review and the reading of the story. Good luck, Mr. Nolan.