Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

For some reason, the people responsible for this completely useless overpriced paperweight decided to make the piece at the bottom of the workbowl that connects the driveshift in the bowl to the motor in the housing in two pieces. "But wait," you say, "doesn't that mean that the connection can loosen through use with the result that the motor spins the bottom part and the top part is stopped by the friction of whatever it is trying to do?" Yes. Yes it does. Congratulations. You have a bright future in the wonderful world of food processors. The people who made this train wreck, on the other hand, designed such an amazing display of worthlessness that it failed to grate a block of a cheddar after three uses. Use 1: Grated cheddar. Worked fine. Use 2: Using the dicing blade for an assortment of vegetables. Worked fine. Use 3: Tried out the slicing blade on some cheddar. Worked fine. Use 4: Tried to grate some cheddar. Engine made normal noise, grating blade did not turn. So I checked all connections and tried again. Nothing. So I cleaned everything carefully and a few days later tried to grate cheese again, being very careful to check all connections and follow all directions down to the very letter. Same result. And then I discovered the bottom of the drave transfer unit in the work bowl can turn independently of the top. And then I marveled at the sort of warped and demented brain that would ever engineer something so mindnumbingly stupid in an appliance that relies on the clean and effecient transfer of power from the base to the blades. And while I am annoyed that I am going to have replace the workbowl on a regular basis if I am going to get any use out of this decorative lump, I am gratified to know that I own a piece of galactic history. For I am convinced that one day the design team responsible for this piece of sculpture masquerading as a kitchen appliance will suddenly fall into a space-time vortex and be warped backwards in time and across the lightyears until they are unceremoniously deposited on Sirius where they will become the founders of the infamous Sirius Cybernetics Corporation and ensure their legacy as a byword for pointlessness and futility across all the eons of time and space. One day the early the works of that legendary team will no doubt be valuable beyond my wildest dreams. Or maybe revenge for unleasing that company on the galaxy is the real reason the Vogons came. Also a possibility. Maybe it would be smarter to bury this in the backyard and deny I ever owned one. But for now, at least, I'm going to try to buy a replacement workbowl in hopes that the next one will last long enough that I can get an even dozen uses out of this hulking mistake before I give up in disgust and buy something from a company actually capable of designing a food processor. Wish me luck.