Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I am still recovering from this weekend when I was the laughing stock of the entire Mariposa County Cheese Rolling 'Rollapalooza'. I purchased this cheese "WHEEL" as a last minute replacement for my trusty 75 lbs Pecorino Wheel which got defaced by local youths. Still, I was looking forward to chasing a lighter "WHEEL" down the hill - this would give me more dynamic control over the direction of the roll. On the morning of the competition, imagine my distress when, dressed proudly in my regional colours and nearly-new cleats, I unwrapped the package to what turns out to be an OVAL-SHAPED cheese. This is NOT A WHEEL. Repeat: NOT A WHEEL. It is OVAL. Needless to say, you can imagine the rest (which was broadcast live on local TV AND one internet channel - note: the comments below the video are disgusting and defamatory). So why the two stars? As I bundled downhill behind the bouncing OVAL, arch-rivals roaring past in mirth, some chunks dislodged and the cheese itself was creamy and ripe. This is not a competition cheese. AVOID. If anyone wants it, I abandoned it in rage at the bottom of Greeley Hill, Mariposa County on Sunday afternoon (from the 49 North, take the 132 East). It should still be okay.