Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I really struggled with justifying the purchase of A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy written by Sue Klebold. This was the first time I have ever questioned if it was ethical for me to purchase a book on Columbine. That being said, I was curious about the “insight” that reviews claimed she had written about as a mother. As a result, it took a few months before I purchased the book. I will be completely honest – I was underwhelmed and disappointed. My sympathy with her son grew and I began to dislike her immensely. There were many times I had to shut my Kindle off and walk away from it because her words had infuriated me. After completing the book, I was convinced that Dylan Klebold could have had a sign around his neck saying, “I am going to shoot up my high school” and his parents would not have noticed. As most, if not all, people know, Susan Klebold is the mother of the infamous Dylan Klebold – one half of the Columbine Shooters. Growing up and going to school after Columbine fundamentally changed safety and security procedures at private and public schools across the United States. While school shootings had taken place before, this particular school shooting was broadcast on live television, which had never occurred before. Also, the Internet, while still fairly new, granted those of us who knew how to use computers and the internet with a barrage of news updates. The Columbine massacre ushered in a new era for those of us who were alive and in school at that time. To this day, Columbine still has a lingering presence in everybody’s life. This event brought an array of topics into discussion. It also promoted more bullying and stereotypes. I was once told that the type of guys I dated were: “Those who would most likely shoot up a school” because of their clothing choices, or the fact that they liked computers, electronics and video games, and because they were sarcastic. So, I was obviously included simply by association. High school sucked, but not enough to actually give much of a damn. Literally, all she had to do was tell him: "It's only high school, it gets better. It's only four years of your life." She literally only had to have a conversation with him - a real conversation. Columbine created an entirely new genre of outcasts. It created an entirely new set of legislation for schools. It fundamentally altered our society. Suffice to say that Columbine altered the lives of those of us who were in school when it occurred. That is why it was huge news that Susan Klebold was publishing a book and was willingly talking to reporters. Was Susan Klebold finally going to give us some insight as to what happened from her perspective? Could she provide some sort of advice to parents? Part of my justification in purchasing the book was that perhaps she could provide parents with clues as to what to look for – warning signs. She did none of this. The best thing she did writing this book was telling us what not to do as parents. The biggest problem is how self-absorbed she is with herself. I was under the impression that this was to be about Dylan but it really wasn’t. It seemed to be Sue Klebold’s autobiography. I learned more about her than anything. Thanks for the pointers on what not to do, as a parent, Mrs. Klebold. First of all, by constantly referring to the Columbine Massacre as a tragedy, she downplays the fact that her son participated in premeditated mass murder where the intent was to kill hundreds of people, not a dozen. Throughout the book, she deflects Dylan’s actions onto mental health, video games, movies, music, bullying, or Eric Harris. She literally pins the majority of the blame on Eric Harris. Eric was the sociopath – Dylan was the depressed one who really just wanted to commit suicide (even though, throughout the entire Massacre, he was in a euphoric state laughing and having the time of his life whereas Eric was subdued). The only time she blames Dylan is when she goes on some tirade about some asinine conversation that Dylan steered her towards to deflect her attention elsewhere. Second, her apologies are not really apologies. She complains that she didn’t receive many responses back from the victim’s families for her apology letters. She states that she understands, but her droning on about these very unimportant things in the scheme of things gives you an idea of what she is preoccupied with, and what kind of person she was before the massacre occurred. Third, she has an insane preoccupation with the image she portrayed and portrays. I mean, she talks about how when her house was basically torn apart by the police and various responding agencies, that she was concerned about what her neighbors would think. She even says that appearances, respect and being accepted has always been important to her. Yet she doesn’t understand why Dylan was insecure and self-conscious? Each time she brings up an event that would scream “red flag” to anybody with half of a brain and two fairly functioning eyeballs, there is a lengthy couple of paragraphs or pages that come before or after during which she attempts to lessen the severity and portray herself in a positive light. Another issue was her blatant political lobbying throughout the book. While she has no problem sharing her severely naïve opinions on gun control and administrative responses to bullying, she glosses over any real discussion about these issues and makes a very poor attempt to advocate for mental health. Despite the fact that her son, and Eric, were severely tormented and bullied at Columbine, she downplays the severity of the bullying as if it is were common. In fact, she states that Dylan was a very sensitive boy and that he basically grow a sack and deal with it. When he would come to her, or his father, they would disregard his feelings as Dylan being Dylan and how he’d get over it because “he’s Dylan!”. As for gun control, it is more or less her opinion on guns and less an educated attempt at prompting or promoting real discussion for gun control reform. In case you wanted to know, her and her husband were very much against guns, and couldn’t believe that their son owned any without them knowing, even though he asked them to purchase one for him the Christmas before Columbine, and despite the fact that subscriptions to gun magazines, addressed to Dylan, were coming to their home. Obviously mental health needs to be discussed – but she failed in this area too! Instead of using her son, or Eric, as her focus – it is entirely about her depression after Dylan’s suicide that she utilizes. We even get the backstory about how she got into mental health advocacy. It is just further proof of her rampant narcissism. Further, her referring to depression as a “brain illness” instead of using the word “depression”, she is still refusing to admit that her son suffered from severe depression. Perhaps it is because, even sixteen years later, she doesn’t want to admit that anything is wrong with her family or her children, due to her preoccupation with how others will view her. Further, citing academic publications and the like is all good and well; however, most of us are very much aware of the statistics and information she is citing. Most parents before, and especially after Columbine, were aware of the warning signs in depression. Her excuse that mental illness was considered taboo in the late nineties, and wasn’t a topic of discussion is fairly ridiculous. She attempts to cover her negligence by blaming society for her failures as a parent. It is almost like: “Look at me! I did all my research to help my son after he had already killed thirteen people and then turned the gun on himself!” Another big issue with this book is the constant shift of blame. I was prepared for her to blame video games, movies and music – even though she states that her and her husband screened everything that Dylan watched, played and listened to. What I did not expect was focusing the blame and piling it on top of Eric Harris. Anybody who has had even a minor curiosity in studying Columbine knows that Eric was pretty much demonized in the media and that he incurred more blame than Dylan to begin with. Also – Dylan murdered people. He may have committed suicide once they were done, but just because he committed suicide doesn’t mean that he’s absolved of what he did. That doesn’t make you a survivor because your son committed suicide. Downplaying what he did is absolutely atrocious. You are the mother of a murderer who happened to commit suicide. Another thing – just because part of your family is Jewish, and that Dylan participated in Passover or a Sabbath when you made him, doesn’t mean he cannot be anti-Semitic. I think my biggest problem with this book was that Sue was doing her damnedest to show the world that she was a good mother and, as such, it isn’t her fault that Dylan turned out to be a mass murderer and she was constantly excusing alarming behavior stating that it was “normal” and “he was a smart kid” that they trusted to “do the right thing”. The honest truth is that they neglected Dylan when he needed his parents most. For the last year of his life, it seems like he was left to take care of himself, only arriving to punish him when he got into trouble. For example, when he hacked the school’s server and got the locker combinations, and then made a list and gave it to Eric, she thought that his suspension of five days was too harsh. She was more concerned with the price of fines than their underlying cause. For the love of Odin, he was driving drunk and received a DUI and was still allowed to drive? If I was 17 and I got a DUI, my parents would have sold my car and made me walk. I think the fact that she never wrote the paper that Dylan had written basically foretelling what was going to happen, is the greatest example of the parental neglect that ran rampant in the Klebold household. What would have been helpful is if she had not glorified the “Sunshine Boy” and described the struggles he had been facing through his time in Columbine. The simple conclusion is that she cannot do so because she was completely oblivious to his depression until the police investigated him after he killed thirteen people with the intention of killing hundreds. Even when she thinks in hindsight, she makes excuses for very blatant signs of depression. This was absolute drivel.