Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I didn't buy this book but I DID steal it. It was sitting near the check-out at my local bookseller and I said to myself "hey self, maybe nobody will notice it you grab this and call it your own". I crammed it down my pants and walked right out. I should specify that I shoved it down the BACK of my pants because this isn't the kind of book I'd want hanging around my wiener. So I brought it home and used it to weigh down some papers but then I recycled the papers and had no use for the book at all. The uselessness of the book haunted me for minutes on end until it struck me - I can give it to people I hate as a Christmas gift! The problem is that I hate a TON of people and only had one book. Inspiration struck once again and I headed for my local Kinko's. I also ate a sandwich. I made a total of 436 copies of the entire book and had them nicely collated and saddle-stitched together. I then set a small "distraction fire" near the fax machines and walked out without paying. Why pay for something or even ask to use it when you can get away with stealing it? I'm still in the process of sending these photocopies out to everyone who's ever wronged me but it's totally worth it.