Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

One of the worst things to ever happen to the Anita Blake series was that Laurell K. Hamilton received a coveted "no-edit" clause in her contract. Even if the books were bloated, tedious, repetitive trainwrecks. And the best parts of "Dead Ice" are the ones that clearly show the mark of an editor's scarlet pen. But while it starts strong, the book quickly sinks into a clammy, dismal quagmire of relationship issues, few of which are actually even slightly interesting to read about. Instead, we get long stretches of Anita being the toughest, manliest, most misogynistic macho-man in the universe, broken only by a disturbing subplot that heralds future necrophilia. The FBI enlists Anita to help them on a case that really shouldn't be new to them: someone is raising zombies so they can be molested in porn videos. This doesn't surprise Anita, since she has encountered such plots in the past -- but the Internet is bringing a new dimension to such things. That plot sounds exciting, interesting and chilling... so it is set aside for almost the entire book. Not kidding. Instead, we follow Anita as she shops for jewelry, has sex in cars, plans who's going to be in her mass commitment ceremony, and has useless power struggles that nobody cares about to show us how she is tougher/sexier/cooler/better than everyone else. And, of course, everybody sits down to eat bland food like a "family," and talk about relationships. Hooray. Occasionally we dip back into the zombie-porn plot, only to be dragged back into Anita yelling at random new characters. In a way, "Dead Ice" is the most disappointing book Hamilton has written in years, because the beginning is... good. It has the subtle touch of a good editor who has streamlined out all the filler and repetition, and the FBI agents are written as reasonable human beings who have legitimate issues with Anita. Add on a zombie case that is horrifyingly plausible, and a rather clever connection to one of the earlier novels... and you have the makings of an actual good Anita Blake thriller. And then... it just sinks into the same ol' same ol'. Most of the book is a poorly-written filler, full of with ghastly dialogue ("How can any of us stand near the flame of your beauty and not want to be closer to the heat of it?") and power struggles that nobody really cares about. It feels less like a cohesive novel, and more like a string of short stories and vague ideas tacked together, with the "main" plot being forgotten for what seems like an eternity. Of course, we have the usual Anita Blake staples: sexism (Anita has to LEARN that sometimes women don't give men a "reason" to beat them), preaching the gospel of the gym, unsexy sex scenes (Anita picking pubic hair out of her teeth), logical plot holes (Micah is now a wereleopard AND weretiger), casual insults to people of various sexualities (an asexual person is "cured" by Anita and JC) and long scenes that exist just to glorify Anita. One scene involves a character comparing Anita's looks to those of Helen of Troy... without an ounce of humor. That is the stuff of parody. Worst of all: Anita raises a zombie for the first time in aeons, while being her usual unprofessional self. Instead of somehow tying this into the zombie porn plot... it turns into a necrophiliac romance based on Anita raising zombies who are practically alive. This means in another two or three books, Anita will raise a zombie and have sex with it. Just wait and watch. And as the final embarrassment, Hamilton wrote part of this as a rather pitiful jab at Jim Butcher's "Dresden Files" series. Anita is her usual self here -- a dumb, thuggish bully who loathes anyone she considers "weak" or too "PC." Hamilton tries desperately to cast her as a goddess of kindness and strength, but only makes her look like a clueless bimbo who throws tantrums all the time. Oh, and there are some halfhearted attempts to make her seem less violently misogynistic ("Girls rule; boys drool") but she's still casually misogynistic and resentful of all other women. As for the hundreds of other characters, they mostly seem to be there to fill up space. Anita's brainwashed boytoy Nicky is there just to remind us that he's a sociopath every two pages, which is dull at best. Asher is just there to be told how much everyone hates him. Jean-Claude is barely present in the story, and Hamilton's boredom with the character is almost palpable. And Anita's rapist/true-love Micah is secretly manipulating different were groups to enhance his own power base... and fortunately for him, Anita is too stupid to be worried about this. "Dead Ice" is a hideously frustrating book. When the editors were involved, it's a pretty decent thriller... but most of the time, it's the same old swamp of bickering and whining. Alert to the editor: give the whole book the red-pen treatment!