Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Occasionally I'll enter the kitchen to find my girlfriend chopping veggies with a knife. "Wait," I say, surprised she's doing it the hard way. "Let me get the chopper." "Oh no," she says, perhaps a little too quickly. "That's OK, I'm almost done." She starts chopping faster. Knowing she'll be glad once I get it down, I rummage around in the cabinet looking for the Cuisinart. For some reason it's always way in back out of sight. "Here it is." I take the veggies from her and stuff them into the bottom of the thing. She stands back, still holding the knife, and watches me. She doesn't look at all grateful. Bam! I slam the button down to start the chopping. I lean forward to look in. Humm. Bam! Bam! Then, getting into the rhythm, Bam-Bam-Bam-Bam! My hand and arm are a blur. I stop and lean forward to look in. Humm. All the food is stuck in the blade and nothing is getting chopped. That's OK, I can fix it. I pull the bottom off and begin plucking at the stuck food. I'm careful because the first time I used my fingers and the blades are very sharp. There was blood all over the onions. My girlfriend has turned her back to me, not even watching. If she doesn't watch and learn, how is she going to fix it when I'm not there? But I rearrange the food and put it all back together. Bam! Bam-Bam-Bam-Bam-Bam. It goes on for a while. My hand is getting a bit sore, but I can see the veggies are turning into a nice mush. In only five minutes I dump the contents out onto a plate in a mushy ball. A lot of it's still stuck in the blades but I'm getting bored and I'm gonna go watch TV. "There you go," I say. "Thank you," she replies, but doesn't sound thankful. I look at her suspiciously. "Is that good?" She dumps the sticky ball into a frying pan and I head into the living room. She can take care of the rest.