Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Was so excited to receive the Tahitian Princess nail dip. Waited patiently. Opened mailbox. Package was flat. I was perplexed. Shouldn’t be flat. Should be a fat round jar of sparkling pink awesomeness. Walk into the house. Curiosity peaked as I tore into the package. Wtf is a cat twig? Oh wait, it’s the new cat nip. Call amazon. Lady doesn’t understand. Yes I received a package, but it’s cat nip, not nail dip. Disappointment ensues because amazon can’t send out another one because this is a 3rd party seller. One tiny, salty tear of Tahitian Princess memories never made gathers in the corner of my eye. Instead of being knuckle deep in mesmerizing pink sparkle, I’m chest deep disappointment and confusion. I don’t have cats, but I do have finger nails. Is the universe trying to tell me something? Should I be getting my kids a cat for Christmas? Does a higher power want me to chew off my nails and be a cat person?