Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

This is one of those products that grabs your attention by boasting a list of features that come on more expensive versions and make you think you are getting a deal. What's really going on, is adding non-functioning just-for-looks features just so the maker can say it has them. In response, here is my list of some features from an, "if they were honest" perspective. Ahh but where to start? 1. The zippers will give you a delightful challenge of your finger dexterity as you'll need all ten to unsnag the zipper as you zip along. 2. Gain that much needed motivation to lose a few pounds as the waist buckles wave at each other from opposite ends of your stomach. 3. Inside each compartment we've single stitched a small fabric flap that's been stretched so tight you won't have to worry about dust or sand getting in it. We call it a "pocket". 4. Feel charitable as the items you attach to the side and bottom straps are "released from bondage" as we like to say, just as soon as you start walking. 5. Are you worried about thieves stealing your water? Never fear! We've made the bladder compartment opening so small that only tiny child hands could get the bladder out. Or in for that matter. 6. Do the cryptic letters M-O-L-L-E mean anything to you. Us neither. Here at Rupum Sports our dedicated researchers spent all yesterday looking at pictures of these MOLLE(?) backpacks and we believe it to be some sort of weight reduction system. That's why we've sewn... the MOLLE? Our MOLLE? ...so close together so as to discourage the frivolous adding on of unnecessary weight. Thank you for taking interest in the Rupum Hydration Assault Military Assault Tactical Military Hydration Teeth-Whitening backpack. We hope you are a satisfied customer.