Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I like women. I've always wanted one for my very own. Imagine my chagrin when I realized that my sights were set too low. I'm not a Mormon. I'm not filthy rich. Until Mitt Romney let the cat out of the bag, I was unaware that people possessed binders full of women! I've been long convinced that President Obama is the best choice in this election. But I've watched all the debates and I try to stay informed. During the most recent debate... I hate to be cruel... but Mitt Romney REALLY blew it. I've been mostly concerned about his lies, and his evasions, and his many, many flip-flops, and the way he can't be bothered to tell us any details about what he plans to do if elected. He said in the debate, "OF COURSE my math adds up!" But then he adamantly refuses to show the American people his math. I don't like that. I'm funny... I like to know what my President actually stands for. All that said, Mitt COULD have won my vote when he brought up these binders full of women. But he made a crucial mistake... by mentioning "Binders Full of Women" and NOT making that one of his campaign promises!!! If he was going to provide binders full of women for all of us... Hell, I wouldn't care if he lied to me about every other thing! He could even screw me over and rob me of social security and medicare (the way he and Paul Ryan want to do to everybody under the age of 60). Mitt was born into privilege. He has had wealth and power his entire life. He used his power to destroy companies, send jobs overseas, and generally crap on the little guy. He can't relate to common folk (or real dog lovers). He doesn't even know windows in airplanes can't be opened because he's so used to riding in private jets. He hides his money offshore to avoid paying taxes. He won't show the American people his tax returns (because that would prove he's better off than four years ago.. and would also likely prove he pays less taxes than the working poor.) He wants to force women to have unwanted babies (bad idea!) He's an Opportunist Extraordinaire. He even said it's not his job to care about 47% of our citizens. That's roughly 166 million people! That's a LOT of people to hold in contempt! But all of that is FORGIVABLE if he'd simply provide us (me) with binders full of women! I'm NOT part of the 47%; I work for a living; but I'd LIKE to be a parasite. I could easily abandon my work ethic. I want to be dependent on my government to provide for me! I especially want my government to provide THIS for me. And I'm easy. I don't need 500 women or even 200. I'd settle for 2 or 3 dozen, especially if they are all shapely blondes! (Am I still setting my sights too low?) Mitt is the expert on creating jobs, right? That's what he SAYS, anyway (when he ISN'T saying during the same debate that "government doesn't create jobs, government doesn't create jobs"). Well, obviously he's also the expert on binders full of women!!! So why does he promise stupid jobs (what I don't need) and not binders full of women (what I DO need)? It's really unfair. So anyway... yes, I'm angry that Mitt 1) kept this information to himself for so long and 2) when he revealed it, he didn't promise it for all. And 3) all that means I now have to actually work to create my OWN binder full of women! But because the prospect is SO appealing... I DID decide to do it myself. I bought this binder. There were no women in it. :-/ So I sent it back and ordered another. Still no babes. After buying and returning ten of these things, I realized I would need to fill the binder myself. Doh! But so far, every time I approach a woman and say, "I'M TAKING YOU HOME; GET INSIDE THIS BINDER!" I get no cooperation whatsoever. I can't even get them to cooperate when I tell them I'll be flexible with their hours and promise to let them go home in time to cook dinner. What am I doing wrong? Do I have to go to Blueberry Hill to bound my thrill? I don't know where Blueberry Hill is located! This thing should come with instructions!!! And a really big net!!!! And handcuffs!!!!!!! (Those three rings are too tiny to go around even a midget woman's wrists). This whole sordid mess has been nothing but a disaster! And forgive me for playing the blame game... but I blame Mitt Romney!!! THIS BINDER IS DEFECTIVE!!!!