Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

It's that time of year again. The holidays are just around the corner. Your boss approaches you, he's holding a jar filled with little scraps of paper and insists that you take one. Secret Santa. You reluctantly reach your hand in and take one of the tiny strips. The instant you unfold the paper and lay eyes on it, your body goes cold. You drew Jared. The very same Jared that always takes the last cup of coffee in the break room without starting a new pot. Indeed, the very same Jared that walked in Monday morning shouting spoilers from The Walking Dead before you had a chance to watch the new episode. Your brain is writhing, completely overwhelmed with resentment. You're trying to think of a gift that is just as awful as this moron you're forced to share a building with. Fruitcake comes to mind, but quickly gets dismissed. Fruitcake simply cannot portray the appropriate level of hatred you have for Jared. No matter how long you sit and brainstorm, nothing seems good enough to say "I want to set you on fire" in the nicest way possible. Well my friend, you are now in luck! CoD Infinite Warfare is here! This right here is the equivalent of taking a dump in a box and gift wrapping it, except you won't get in any trouble! Everyone at the Christmas party will laugh themselves to tears when Jared unveils this digitally simulated box of farts. The best part? He'll be forced to thank you for it AND take it home with him! Once that's done, be sure to visit him at home regularly and ask how he's enjoying his gift. This will ensure that he not only has to keep it, he'll be forced to put it on display with the rest of his collection to keep you from getting offended. From then on, everyone who comes over will see it, and Jared will be forever branded as that pathetic moron who bought Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare. Great Success.