Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

If someone put the Encyclopedia of Fantasy Tropes and Stereotypes into novel form and then had a stoned college student transcribe it for maximum typos, this is about what I would expect to see come out the other side. (For example, "solider" and "soldier" are both words, but not interchangeable. Also, you cannot ever, ever say "here" when you mean "her"... and so on. There is a reason proofreaders get paid for their work, and it's to keep people like you, Mr. Gischler, from looking like a chump.) Horrible cliches aside (oh, how cute! The princess--I mean duchess--is falling for the stable boy. Who could have predicted that?!) A lot of the novel just doesn't make sense or display any amount of research. For example, a bodyguard who teaches his charge (who he's been protecting and training since she was born) rapier first, hand-to-hand last, and apparently never even THINKS that she might need more practical weapons training in something other than a dueling weapon until there is literally an army on her doorstep. One who also, apparently, can take on an entire squad of elite fighters single-handedly, but it too stupid to stop at any point after said battle to wrap a simple bandage so he doesn't bleed out and leave his charge completely unprotected and on her own in a snowy wilderness with enemies all around her. This would also explain why he fell for the Evil Steward's "maybe you should check the garrison" ruse instead of being at his charge's side when she and her father were meeting with the enemy. Why is there a rapier on a wall display of hunting weapons? Why does a stableboy (HEAD stableboy!) show absolutely no emotion about killing a guy (except to whine about how in the act of COMMITTING MURDER he may have bruised his ribs)? Do you realize that an arrow flying so close to your head that the fletching touches your ear wouldn't tickle, it would slice your ear open? How does a HEAD stableboy go from "servant I don't even see" to potential love interest in the space of a few pages with no emotional development in between? I also love how the heroine goes to sack a local noble's country estate for valuables, only realizing AFTER she gets chased off by the bad guys that she has a string of jewels in her hair. I like the idea of the tattoo magic, but the application of it is so weak that the whole thing felt sad and underexplored. Everyone she found seemed practically desperate to put a new tattoo on her and make her the first new tattoo mage in ages (because tattoo mages are... y'know... dangerous.) And while it's a fascinating idea to explore, I have no idea why people seem to think it's original. Not only have I seen it done in fantasy before, but it's actually a part of real life human tradition in multiple cultures going back millenia. Underwhelmed, under impressed, and once the cliches stopped being hilarious and just got tedious, I totally lost any interest.